Please Don't Tease
by FallAway
Summary: Collegefic. Mac leaves Dick for the day to hang out with Veronica. Boredom ensues. Oneshot.


Summary: College-fic. Mac leaves Dick for the day to hang out with Veronica. Boredom ensues. Oneshot.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own them.

A/N: Written for the vmhaveaday challenge over at livejournal. My challenge was "Have A Lonesome Day." Reviews are love.

--

He rolled over and felt around the other side of the bed, only to find cold sheets and an empty mattress. His brow furrowed and he moaned in annoyance, feeling around on the pillow for some sort of note. When his fingers closed around the crisp piece of paper he sighed and pulled it off the cushion, still unwilling to open his eyes and find out where she was.

Eventually he cracked an eye open and glanced at his alarm clock, huffing when he realized the time. Ten in the morning? Where the hell had she taken off to before ten in the morning?

Groaning, he unfolded the piece of paper in his hands and gazed at her handwriting briefly, too tired to really register any of the things she'd written. Dick rolled his eyes when he realized she was out with Veronica and he flung the note, watching as it fluttered in the air for a moment before falling back on the bed only an inch from where he'd thrown it.

He grumbled and turned over to go back to sleep. When he landed on the floor he grunted uncomfortably, his face pressed into the carpet. He rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling, fully awake now, and ran a hand through his hair before letting it flop back onto the floor.

Dude, he so needed a bigger bed.

--

His head was hanging off the couch and he was kicking some ninja dude's ass upside down, grinning whenever the little animation would grunt through his surround-sound speakers. The controller fell out of his hand when the round was over and he rolled his eyes when his cell phone rang a moment later.

"Casa Casablancas, how can I service you?"

"So that's why people keep asking me if my boyfriend is a gigolo," Mac said dryly. Dick grinned and propped his feet up on the wall, sliding a little on the polished suede sofa.

"Dude, did you drag Veronica to some geek-fest today? I woke up at like ten and you weren't, like, here."

"What have I told you about calling me dude?"

"Sorry, Mac," he sighed, then added, "-ky."

He could practically hear her eyes roll. "Not much better," she laughed. "Look, we're going to be out all day and then I have to study for exams, so can we reschedule our plans?"

"You're the one that made those dinner reservations," he argued.

"I know," his girlfriend sighed heavily, sounding genuinely upset. "But Veronica and I haven't hung out in weeks."

"Too busy getting her freak on with Logan?"

"She is going to kick your ass for that one day," Mac promised. "And I'll be the one holding the camera."

Oh, yeah. He could feel the love in _this_ room.

Dick rolled his eyes, "Speaking of Logan, where the hell is he?"

"Rehearsing," she replied. "Actually doing something with his major," she added after a moment. He rolled his eyes again.

"Whatever, dude, I'll find something to do."

"Please make sure it's not the maid," she teased. "She left crying last time you tried to seduce her."

"Psshh," he shook his head, his neck falling further off the couch with the action. "Like I'd hit that. She's like fifty!"

"She's twenty-four," Mac countered, "And don't make me smack you."

"Sounds hot," he grinned. "Look, do your thang and we'll meet up later, mmk?"

"Okay. Try not to break anything."

"Later," he said pointedly. She laughed softly and said goodbye, and he hung up only after he heard the line click.

--

Um … video games were totally boring. Or at least _his _were. And Logan wasn't answering his phone because he was all busy working and shit, so Dick was left with absolutely no quality entertainment for the afternoon.

He'd taken a shower, brushed his hair – which, like, whoa – and played every game he owned. Dude, he'd beaten two and he'd only been sitting on his couch for the past three hours.

See, now, if his girlfriend was there then he'd just fuck her and never have to deal with the overwhelming boredom of a Thursday afternoon. Of course Veronica could ditch her Thursday classes for the two of them to hang out, and Mac never had Thursday classes to begin with. It totally sucked.

Not to mention the fact that it was totally lame.

Dick huffed and threw his controller at the plasma TV, panicking momentarily when it hit the screen and bounced off to land on the floor. The tell-tale cracking sound of the television breaking never came, though, and he relaxed as he sank back into the cushions.

Mac would kick his ass if he broke something.

Even though it was his apartment.

And no, he was so _not_ whipped.

--

Mmk, so there was this little dog sitting in front of the Best Buy when he stepped up onto the sidewalk, and the furry little ball whimpered at him as he walked past it to get inside the store.

The glass doors slid open and he stared at them dumbly, momentarily transfixed by the sound. Apparently he _really_ needed to get laid – 'cause the little thing _totally_ sounded like Mac did the night before.

Dick glared at the dog and waved his hands in a shooing motion. "Dude, shut up!"

A little kid snickered from a few feet away and Dick turned, glare still in place, totally annoyed with the world. The little kid rolled his eyes and took off on his skateboard, rolling through the parking lot with a practiced ease.

Totally lame.

Dude, even a fight with an eight-year-old would be better than shopping for video games by himself. And, like, why was he doing that anyway? It wasn't any fun unless he could argue with his girlfriend and then push her up against the shelves to make out with her when no one was looking.

He rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, stomping away from the store in annoyance. The dog barked at him and he turned, glaring at the little fur-ball before it whimpered once more and ran off down the sidewalk.

"That's what I thought," he muttered, turning around again and heading for his car.

--

Six o'clock. Bored. And the Chinese place wasn't delivering because their only driver was, like, dying of cancer or some shit. There wasn't any food in the fridge, and opening the cupboards only led him to discover a few bags of flower and some instant pancake mix.

His eyes lit up when he saw the box and he grabbed it eagerly, knocking over a bag of flour in the process. It hit the counter and exploded in a cloud of white powder, coating him and half of the kitchen.

Dude, it was like he was a cartoon and somebody had erased his ass off the page.

Grumbling, he dropped the box back on the counter and stomped off down the hall to take a shower, pulling his shirt off in the process. Dick used the cloth to wipe the flour off his face and dropped it in the middle of the hallway, ignoring the white trail that was following his progress to the bathroom.

--

When he walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped snugly around his waist, he stepped around the flour that was coating the floor and walked back into the kitchen. The light on the answering machine warned him that he had a new message and he smacked the box idly as he moved around the flour cloud to get to the fridge.

"Hey, Dick, it's me," Mac's voice filled the room and he turned around to glare at the answering machine. She was all … cheerful. And his apartment was covered in flour. "Veronica and I got back a little early, so I'm coming over after I go home and take a shower. If you broke anything I'll kick your ass. Love you."

Beep!

He hated that beep. Fucker. It was all loud and annoying and no matter what he did he could never make the damn thing beep any quieter. Like he couldn't figure out that the person had hung up on his own – the little shit had to beep at him to let him know.

Yeah, he so needed to talk to someone other than himself now.

And his girlfriend was a fucking tease.

Dick rolled his eyes and slammed the fridge shut, hearing various beer bottles clank together from the force. He turned around and glared at the box of pancake mix that was sitting on the counter, one side covered in flour and the other still clean and shiny.

There was probably a clean rectangle on his shirt from where he'd been holding the box. After a few minutes of contemplating the matter, he shook his head and then laughed at himself.

He had no clue how to make pancakes, instant or not. Snorting, he walked through the pile of flour that was on the floor, stirring up new clouds of powder, and picked the box up to throw it back into the cupboard.

The door opened a few minutes later and he wandered out into the living room, pulling her into his arms before she could even put her stuff down. Mac protested and he kissed her soundly, removing her bags from her arms and dropping them on the floor. Vaguely, he registered that she'd brought Chinese from the place that couldn't deliver because of the cancer patient, and he smiled against her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You broke something, didn't you?" she laughed against his mouth when they parted and he shook his head, sending stray droplets of water all over the place.

"Dude, you are so not allowed to leave me alone ever again."

Mac raised an eyebrow, "Why? What'd you do?"

He shook his head again. "The universe," Dick said, waving his hand absently, "Is _totally_ against me."

Her eyes rolled in response and he kissed her again, distracting her from the mess he'd made as he started leading her toward his bedroom. She tangled her fingers in his hair and he groaned when he tripped over his flour-covered t-shirt, catching her against him when she tripped over it too.

And it totally made up for the day he'd had.

But she was so not allowed to leave him without entertainment again.


End file.
